The BIG Question

The BIG question

I am always asked one questions.....how did they not know?   I actually hate that question, I know it's a question people have on their minds, but I still hate it.  I want to scream "I DON'T KNOW!!"  I would not expect anyone to understand the stress on the inside of me it causes, or the questions in my mind on how I, as his mom, did not know.  I have reasons...I think they are valid reasons.

1. 10 years ago, Josh was 17.  20 years ago, he was 7.  Do you even remember the words Autism/Aspergers in anyone's vocabulary back then? Unless it was obvious classic autism, who was diagnosed? I was not a savvy parent back then.  I was a young mom with friends who did not have kids yet...heck, they weren't even married.  The terms, ADD, oppositional disorder, brat, strong-willed child, uncontrollable, and undisciplined were the words I often heard on a day to day basis. Not just from schools, churches, playground, but from "friends" and "relatives" as well.  I didn't know what was wrong.  When he was just with me, he was an angel.

2.  The pediatrician never spent enough time with Josh to determine what issues he had.  Sure, we saw him for reasons such as "rashes", colds, immunizations, and notes from the teacher.  All I was ever told to do was ..fill out a piece of paper, and hey - have the teacher fill one out too.  It was never mentioned by the doctor to take him to a psych or a specialist.  Just to give him certain meds, which I stated often, didn't work.  Was it his fault??? maybe.......I took him there often enough for him to warrant a referral to a psych.  Question is...would I have gone?  I don't know.  I might not have taken him to a psych, but I might have taken him to a specialist.  Which is why I say, don't trust your pediatrician if you think something more might be going on with your kid.  They just aren't trained.....maybe some new ones are trained now.  I'd still suggest to make an appointment with a doctor or psychiatrist that is knowledgeable in the Autism Spectrum.  I would ask, "are you familiar with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)?"

3.  I don't remember anyone in the school community saying anything other to me than, "have your doctor check him out".  That was the clue.  People....teachers are legally bound not to say much!! when you hear those words...IT'S A CLUE!!! It means.....we really think there are some things going on with your child, we care about your child, we want you to take him to someone to help him.  The regular pediatrician does not cut it.  Go to someone else.  There.....I broke the code for you!! Do not blame the teachers, gesshhhhh....their hands are tied.  Assume they want the best for you child!! Mostly likely, they really love your kid too!! 
If I look through Josh's old IEP's....ASD is all through the documents through descriptive words. 

4.  Josh did not have any developmental delays, thus the Asperger's diagnosis.  He was talking by two - singing the Jungle Book song word for word by 2.5 years old.  Heck, I thought the kid was a genius!!!  He crawled on time, he walked on time.  I did not notice any social issues because he was an only child.  I did not have any nieces or nephews.  He was happy.  He was the prince of the world.  I was not a teacher at that time.  I had not taken any childhood development classes, but you can be assured I read The Strong Willed Child!! LOL  I can't even count how many people gave me that book!!  It's freaking insulting!!  When he was in the teenage years, I just thought he was being an annoying teenager.  Trust me when I say the teen years were the toughest!!  I did not understand why he could not "get it together". There was a lot of yelling in those days.  Now I know why he couldn't "get it together".  A good thing that came out of not knowing, is Josh's ability to be flexible.  If he could, he'd like a nice structured day, but because of his mom - he has learned to just go with the flow.  *go with the flow means: we just decide what we are going to do minute by minute, we will do it when we get a chance, there is not a time frame*  Josh would prefer a time. 

If you see me, ask me!!  I don't mind answering questions, but some of them I just don't know the answers!!  When people ask me "why did it take so long to get diagnosed?"  I usually just talk about how Autism really wasn't officially on the scene yet.  Oh it was there physically, but I think a lot of kids were given a really bad rap because of uninformed Doctors. The public is now finding out more and more about ASD.  It's everywhere!! Why? I really don't know, I might have my theories, but I'm not getting into that.  ha!!  

I am adding the video to the song I Wanna Be Like You from the Jungle Book. Once you get to through the video at about 3:00, you will see the nonsense words between Balou and the Monkey King---this was his favorite part to sing word for word!!  I am hoping you will agree with me and conclude that my two and a half year old Josh is a genius