Connections

When you're a parent of someone on the Autism Spectrum or a person with special needs, seeing connections may be difficult.  Especially since Autism is a social/communication disorder.  The definition of connections is "a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else."  For so many years I longed for a connection with my daughter, a sign that we understood each other and what was going on around us.  I longed for a conversation that we both participated in.

Slowly with therapy, tiny connections began to occur.  Sometimes only a flicker, caught in a spark in her eye or a smile on her face.  Those connections made my heart soar with excitement and gave me the hope I needed to continue.

Bree doesn't watch much television or movies.  Its a sensory thing and a comprehension thing, it causes her discomfort and frustration and she usually avoids it.  When she does sit down with the family for a movie, it use to end badly.  She would ask constant questions, trying to understand the dialogue and not being able to follow the story line.  It was frustrating for her and for all of us.

Very gradually she began asking less questions.  Bree worries a lot and so she becomes anxious when she fears a story will end in a way she doesn't want it to.  Yesterday, we attended a movie with a group of friends and when it was over she announced "If anyone asks, this is my new favorite movie (The Intern)!"  There were a few questions throughout, but hardly any and not at all distracting or frustrating.  When I saw the joy on her face and the understanding she felt, I had to step back and embrace the moment.  She talked freely about the story line and with understanding and passion.

How many times do we read a book or watch a TV show or movie and immediately connect with people.  Basically, "Water cooler talk!"  We have been connecting with co-workers, family and friends about something we saw on TV or at the movie theater for as long as I can remember. That is just it, we have been connecting with people, all of our lives.  As I reflect back on the moment, it wasn't just the movie my daughter connected with, it was friendships!  It was life!  And, boy what a moment for all of us!! There were connections every where, connections with all present.  From the enjoyment of the movie to the enjoyment of each others company to the enjoyment of our tacos at the end of the night.  I saw the connection with Bree's friend Josh. Movies are also hard for him, but he fought through it and remained a contributing participant in the evening.  We were doing something that others take for granted...we were connecting!  Love these three!