Invisible Disability -- story by Mary Ellen, mother of girl

In having an invisible disability, we learned early on that people form opinions without facts.  Taking a 3-year-old to Walmart and having them freak out...people automatically think "Spoiled Brat."  Then there is that adult version of fight or flight, when you have no idea why your child is screaming and nothing you do can console them, (The before diagnosis stage.) You feel circles being seared into your back from the death glares being shot in your direction.  You try to keep your cool, as you see your other children frown, knowing the trip to the store is now over.  Once again they won't get the new pair of shoes they've been waiting for. You hold back the tears as you wonder when you became a bad parent and what is it you are doing wrong.

Then it happens!  You're trying to make a quick exit out of the store,  Your screaming child has sounded the alarm and now two lines of people form.  They line up on both sides of you pointing fingers and talk about your parenting fail.  (Okay, I added that in for a little dramatic reading.) Although, you do feel like the few minutes of your escape is happening in slow motion.  The snickers and gasps ring in your ears.  And then that one person who thinks they have all the answers in life, steps in front of you.  The person who has trophies and plaques mounted around the house, reading "World's Greatest Mother" or "Best Dad."  Their words hit you like a brick and you rock backwards on your heels.  They give you some advice on controlling your child and soon you feel as though your heart may explode or you will sob and show everyone how unstable you are.

Unfortunately, this happens a lot.  People think they know more than we do.  I'll admit in the beginning I had no clue why my daughter was so upset.  But, I had two other well behaved children and this had nothing to do with my child wanting and not getting something.  Sadly, this never ends.  We tried wearing t-shirts, that read "Autism - Would you know it if you saw it?"  I don't think I should have to make my child wear a t-shirt just so people aren't rude.  It's the curse of having an invisible disability.  You are expected to act a certain way and when you don't, you are outed as a brat, a weirdo, rude and more. All I can try to do is educate and spread awareness.  Just know you are never alone in your struggles.